Doing little odd jobs outside, getting ready for fall, planning ahead for winter. I’ve been feeling really down lately, unusually so. We cut wood, and I think of winter. What happened to August? It was here a minute ago and now it’s gone.
It’s not even fall yet, and I can’t help but feel winter looming. I used to love winter, but since my peripheral neuropathy got really bad, all I can think of is how much I am going to be hurting. Oh, I hate feeling down. Channel it into writing I tell myself. And I do. Then I worry the stories are too depressing. They are. I need to re-work some things now.
I think the medication they have me on makes me feel down too.
Depression-such a cheerful thing to write a blog about. No one reads it anyway, so I guess in the long run it doesn’t matter all that much…
Oh? You’re here? Well, let me sit up a little straighter and try to write something more upbeat-
I am looking forward to fall. The nights are cooler now, hinting that it will be here soon. My favorite season. I love the way it looks and the way it smells. Crisp. Like pumpkins and apples. Autumn here is gorgeous. Soon it will be impossible to look around and not marvel at the trees. My desk faces a big window, and I have the most spectacular view of trees, two giant, ancient oaks in particular. There are always squirrels, racing along the branches, leaping from tree to tree. I have seen them do this when the branches were covered in snow and ice, in the dead of winter, how they don’t slip and fall is beyond me.
I did see one fall once. It wasn’t in the winter, and there was no ice on the branches. In fact, it wasn’t really the squirrels’ fault at all, it just landed on a branch too skinny to support it. The branch bent and the squirrel went. He made a neat recovery to the next set of branches below him. I don’t know if he was really skilled or just lucky. Maybe a bit of both. That’s not a bad combination to have; skill and luck.
I try and find something that amazes me every day. I know that sounds silly, but it helps me focus on things, and makes me look more closely at the world around me. I used to write them down, but I don’t too much anymore. Just one thing, every day. It’s not as easy as it sounds.
It’s not easy to be amazed after a certain point in your life, so on some days you have to really look. Depending on my mood it can be something as small as a spider’s web.
It’s been harder lately.
I’ve had to give a lot of things some serious thought. I’m unhappy with the way things have been going as far as my writing. Not the books, or the writing itself, just certain circumstances around it. I feel like I am in need of serious change. I don’t want to be a diva, I don’t want my ass kissed. I’m not famous, but hell… maybe acknowledgement that I exist? No- it seems there is very little, and I don’t mean by people who have read what I’ve written, they have all been great to me. That’s all I will say about that, and probably more than I normally would but I can’t help being frustrated. It’s not fun when you aren’t taken seriously because of other people’s mistakes.
Oh, before I go- Cooper Raccoon finally has a Facebook fan page. He has 10 likers…Lol, if you’d like to LIKE him too, he’s here. http://www.facebook.com/pages/Cooper-Raccoon/253385744684206
I’m on FB too. http://www.facebook.com/melissaharlowwrites
New friends always welcome. Not everyone wants to be friends. That’s cool. One of my very best “real-life” friends won’t be my Facebook friend because she doesn’t want her mother to see my profile, since I post things about my books. I don’t have a fan page, I have a page to be friends, therefore, not every two seconds do I post things about my books. I don’t like that. I see writers who have Facebook friend pages and that is all they do is try and promote. Chill. Tell people something about yourself, your day, something other than a book promo for something that’s been out for two years. Seriously. Even better- the status update that tells us that they have 75,000 words to edit (yes, I’m exaggerating) and they’re sooooo frazzled, and then when you go to the games to play Scrabble or whatever, it shows on the side ticker that they’ve been playing Empires and Allies or Farmville for the last hour. Be honest people, we don’t work 24/7. We’re just people.
If you haven’t yet, don’t forget to check out my name the cat contest. (Like how I ranted about self-promotion and then I did it??) It’s not really a promo, I think it’s fun. I’ve been enjoying the emails I get and it seems as though the people entering have been enjoying it too.
Until next time. Find something that amazes you. :)
