Wanting the the Luna Moth to fly...

I can’t stop thinking about a book I wrote a while ago. The Luna Moth.

When I was in my very early twenties, my first husband and I separated, and I had sort of a mental meltdown. Alcohol flowed…a lot of it. It didn’t take long for the situation to really spiral out of control.

At some point during this period in my life I just got disgusted with…well, everything. Mostly myself, I guess. I was not a good person. Looking back, I can see no redeeming qualities about the person I was then.

I had a couple of really good friends. I avoided them.

One persisted. She called me, came by. Asked me WTF I was doing.

I didn’t know- I really didn’t. I wrecked myself. Mentally, physically.

I had pills. Percocet. One night I decided I was just too tired, and I took them all.

There was never a conscious thought in my head that said; “I want to kill myself.” Never did I think that. I just wanted to sleep. To be left alone. But I was not.

I still had a friend. A friend who came that night, a friend who dragged me out, took me for a drive, and during the course of this blurry night I threw up.

The state police came in the morning, I got sent to the hospital, put in ICU for a day or so, then set to the psych ward for “evaluation.”

I believe to this day that I am alive because of a friend, because I threw up. The doctors said I had taken enough pills to quote; “kill a horse.”

I don’t have this friend anymore. Only in my memories, in my heart, in my head. I wrote a book for her, that she never got to read. It is sweet, and for my writing style; it is incredibly tame. I knew it had to be, because of the subject matter- but also because I had written it with a specific publisher in mind.

When it was finally done, I sent in a sample, and waited. I didn’t expect too long a wait, since I had books published with this publisher.

I didn’t have a long wait.

Three days, as I recall. I was so irate when I read the email that I cried. They rejected the book. Without reading the whole thing, and without explanation.

I knew the explanation, but no one had the balls to say it to me.

The heroine had cancer. She has one breast.

My thought, big fucking deal. Get over it. It fucking happens. It happens to people that you love, people that you need, and people that you miss so much that it leaves a big black hole in your heart.

The book was published, not by that publisher. By Renaissance ebooks. The Luna Moth. Among my works, it goes un-noticed. Not my typical kidnap story, no guns, no page after page of sex (though there is some…)

Just a few days ago I put it out for review. Why am I pushing it now? I don’t know. Maybe because while I was trying to get The Lion Man reviewed I kept thinking about that sweet little book that sits stagnant at the sellers.

I cannot read the book myself, I really can’t. It’s too much, too close, too much going on, right down to losing a cat to feline leukemia.

If you are a fan of my work, do me a favor and buy this book. You might end up hating it, you might think it is too syrupy sweet, too simple a story.

It is a simple story. The story is that it sucks to have someone who only sees your flaws, and when you have someone in your life who sees the real you it is a wonderful thing.

I am lucky to have that, and I guess if I really think about things, I always have had that, even when I was too messed up to notice.

Life is good. Embrace it. Live it.

Melissa

It's about time!!

I’m sorry, I hear them too. The crickets I mean. This blog is that quiet- I know. I’ve been busy. Really busy. Back to work at a job out in the “real world” along with working on a deadline for a book. Throw in the release of The Lion Man and it has kept me up working until the wee hours. It’s about time I put something else up here.

The Lion Man. Whew, I worked really hard to get this book “just right.” I hope that you read it, and I hope you enjoy it. You don’t have to like it, just enjoy it. Get lost in the story, let it entertain you for a bit. That’s why I wrote it. I could have written a typical romance, but this is fun- or at the very least; different. It is the first time in over a year that I have actively sought to have a book reviewed. It’s probably a crazy choice of book to push like that, but it’s good, and I think it shows what I can do as a writer. I have range- I can do more than write sex. I think that’s exactly what I have done with The Lion Man. Now I just have to wait…wait to see how it does, wait to see how it reviews. I am already aware not everyone will like all the subject matter or the content, BUT I hope that even those who do not will find the story engaging and entertaining. I read this review at Goodreads, it was written three days after the book came out, and I really think it is very fitting. It is by a lady named Joanna who gave it a 5/5 score. Thank you Joanna!!

“Where do I start with this? I guess by saying straight away that not everyone will like this book. It goes beyond those little icky parts that some books have, not by stepping around them, but by trudging right through. It crosses boundaries I have not seen crossed in most books I have previously read. It doesn’t glorify the behavior it contains, but Harlow doesn’t blink as she writes about things that will make you cringe in your chair. There are a few places you might want to stop reading, but you won’t, or at least you shouldn’t.
There is violence, sexual depravity, and love within the pages of this book, all wrapped up and tied, not with a bow but with a twisted piece of rusty steel-belted radial wire.
After getting that out of the way, I must say this book is a long strange trip. And it’s one that you should not miss taking. The pace is quick, it moves along with a story that is flawless, there are no plot holes, at the end you may be shaking your head- but not scratching it. It is the literary equivalent of a car accident, you can’t look away. And you know what? Don’t. If you do you might miss out on the most refreshingly different thing you have ever laid eyes on.
I loved this book, the characters, the story, the whole package. I finished it all in one sitting, mostly because I simply could not put it down. It leaves you with the impression that the human spirit is stronger than anything that could try to crush it, and I for one would like to believe that.
But- it’s not for everyone. How do you know? I guess you have to read this for yourself.”

On Oct 1^st I picked the winning cat name for the This is a Dark Ride Contest. Krieger. I like how it sounds, and the connection to The Doors was perfect. There were several honorable mentions and I have awarded all the winners their prizes. I hope they enjoy the books, the contest was just super, and I am grateful to everyone who participated. I met some great people through all the wonderful emails I received.

I am finishing up This is a Dark Ride right now, and have just started book 3 of the Breeding Stock series, so I have plenty to keep me busy throughout the fall. I hope you are all well, enjoy this beautiful season, and I will write again as soon as I have the time (and something to write about.)

Thanks for Reading

Melissa